The Ostritch (Good One)

The Ostritch (Good One)

> > A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
> >
> > The waitress asks them for their orders.
> >
> > The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich,
> > "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
> >
> > A short time later the waitress returns with the order " That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his
> pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. > >

> > The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
> > The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
> >
> > Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
> >
> > This becomes routine until the two enter again.
> "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same,"
> says the ostrich.
> > Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket
> and places it on the table.
> >
> > The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir.
> > How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
> >
> > "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared
> and offered me two wishes.
> >
> > My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just
> > put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
> >
> > "That's brilliant!" says the waitress.
> "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
> > for as long as you live!"
> > "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
> >
> > The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
> with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Women are really SMART

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog
told her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for,
your husband will get it ten times!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock
to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The
frog said, "That

will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten
times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine
is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a
mild heart attack!"

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here
and continue feeling good!

Male readers: Please scroll down.

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart!

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show!

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show
that women never listen!!!