September 15, 2009

5:34 pm

Man, F### the Montauk Monster.

This is beyond fucked-up. Paraphrasing from Google Translate and my own shitty knowledge of Spanish:

A weird creature has stirred up controversy among the people of Cerro Azul. Some say it could be an alien, others simply believe that is an animal.

Last Saturday four teens playing on Cerro Azul (Jet Blue, literally “blue hill” - like I said, my spanish sucks) encountered this creature exiting a cave behind a waterfall. The teens panicked at the sight of this thing and they began to thrash it with sticks, killing it. Then they tossed it in the water and left the scene.

I have no idea what that thing might be - it most certainly could be a hoax. But if it was real, I feel very sorry for it.

September 15, 2009

6:13 pm

Weirder and weirder: The Cerro Azul Cryptid

UPDATE: Comments at Fark may have already provided a believable, real-world explanation for this strangeness. See this post.

*****

Thanks to Tumblr friends InkFix and Wooliebear, I can point you to this: “Photo: UFO / OVNI Captured Over Cerro Azul, Panama.” To which I can only say, HOLY SHIT, Y’ALL. What the HELL is up in Cerro Azul, Panama? Is this some chupacabra shit?

The Phantoms and Monsters blog post showing some sort of strangeness in the skies over Cerro Azul recounts an incident reported to MUFON in February, 2004. Phantoms and Monsters posted the photos from that case on March 26, 2009. The story recounted here, in my earlier post, was published by the Panamanian news org Telemetro.com today, Sept. 15, 2009.

Truth is, I’m pretty skeptical. I still think I’m smelling a bad alien movie punking event here.

Yet: does this smell like a skeletal timeline of some sort of cryptid/alien event or what? The little kid in everyone probably wants to think so. Then again, there’s that other little kid who sees a strange creature and beats it to death with a stick, so, I don’t know…

September 15, 2009

7:46 pm

Good news - this post about a very strange creature killed by some kids in Cerro Azul, Panama, is apparently going to hit the front page at Fark tonight. Which is, make no mistake, cool to me because I’ve been a TF’er (TotalFarker) for years now. I’ve had a handful of posts I’ve written both for kicks and for money go green on Fark and it’s always a nice feeling. (Even though the comments can get really weird if there’s a controversial element in the subject of the post.)

Farkers are often pretty f###ing smart, observant and funny. So I had to make note of it when one guy in the Fark comments brought the sorta bad news here - the Cerro Azul cryptid really looks like a shaved sloth. See above - I rotated the Cerro Azul mystery creature just so you could more easily compare body shape.

I hate being such a skeptic, but at the moment I’m thinking, man, that poor sloth. He just wanted to go full-body Brazilian, just once, and a bunch of f###ing teenagers go all caveman on his ass.