Monday, September 28, 2009

More Relationship Advise For Women by a Woman

Ladies,
Have you ever felt like everything would be
"okay" in your relationship if you could just
really "get" his attention?

But you find yourself struggling with yourself
about what to do and how to behave?

Whether to run to meet him when he comes home
or just say "Hi," and "How's your day?"

Whether to ignore him or invite him out?

Call him or forget about him?

Turn to him in bed and try to get something
started again, or stay up sleepless?

Where you start to feel like nothing you do is
ever going to get you what you want, whether it's
a new man you've just seen or the man you're with
right now who's been taking you for granted?

And it feels like it's just always going to be
the same, and it's just too much hard work?

I know how frustrating and painful that is.

When I was "between" men, and I either had my
eye on a man, or there was no man in sight, I felt
such a sense of competition with other women it
made me feel sick to my stomach.

I always felt so "on edge," like I was always
in a kind of "store window display" if a man
showed up. Like I had to preen and be cute and
clever to get his interest.

And if there were lots of men, it was like
being in a candy store with closed counters.

I felt like I had to "go get" the men. Almost
hunt them down - knock on the closed glass cases
they were behind - in order to try to make
contact.

I hated it.

I hated the results, too.

I often worked so hard at it that I
successfully went home with a man, or got a date
with a man - sometimes even a short-term
"relationship.

It never even occurred to me that there was
another way to do it.

Until I met my husband, and I was in a mental
place I'd never been before, where I'd stopped
working so hard.

My husband approached ME, and he wasn't a
loser.

Instead of jumping at the opportunity, or
falling into my pit of anger and despair from all
my past "relationships" that never worked out, I
just Leaned Back and let him run the show and row
the boat.

And he never once let me down.

Until we were married.

Then, a new kind of need and desperation got
a hold of me.

After a year and a half of marriage, he pulled
away.

And there I was, stuck.

It wasn't like another one of those Imaginary
Relationships where he'd walk away after 2 months.

We were MARRIED.

He was a good man, and he wasn't going
anywhere.

And yet, all I could see ahead of me was this
empty, cold, angry life - not at all the romantic
dream I'd expected when I married him.

And that's when I put two and two together.

***Self-esteem is the key to getting love from a
man. If you don't feel good about yourself, you'll
almost automatically be attracted to and attract a
man who doesn't feel good about himself, either -
and so he will be incapable of loving YOU.

No matter how much you do or how sweet and sexy
you are, and how many things you do and say the
"right way" you will never change your
relationship until you start to change the way you
feel about yourself.

And it's actually EASY! And FAST, too.

My Heart Connection Toolkit is designed to help
you do that - to raise your self-esteem and get
you believing the truth - which is that you are
FABULOUS, and you CAN have EVERYTHING you want.

The Toolkit is all about raising your self-esteem
- from the inside out, and from the outside in,
too - by using words and body language with men
that will HELP you raise your self-esteem instead
of beating it up.

It will help you put two-and-to together, like I
finally did, and it comes with a risk-free 30 day
guarantee. You can listen to a bit of it right
here:

http://www.HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com/e/19440/Toolkit/?cid=ZVSYZZ&lid=2


In that awful time when my marriage went
downhill, my husband was actually the same man
he'd always been.

It was ME who'd CHANGED.

And I hadn't changed for the better.

Instead of the happy, busy, Leaned Back girl
he'd met and courted, I was now focused entirely
on HIM.

He was the only man around. So I'd gone back to
working hard, rowing the household and the
relationship boat, and worst of all - feeling sad,
lost, angry and ANXIOUS, and making him wrong
every chance I got.

No only couldn't I get his attention in a
romantic way, I couldn't get his attention in ANY
way.

All his attention came through talking about
work and watching television or playing with the
cats and our baby.

It was as though there was NOTHING PERSONAL
left.

I was making so many mistakes, it's hard to
cover them all here, so I'll focus on one major
mistake that's easy to turnaround, like I did.

The Mistake is: Focusing On What You Don't HAVE
Instead of what you Don't WANT

When you first read this, it may seem hard to
tell the difference, but the difference is
actually HUGE.

This feeling I had of not being touched, or
loved, or appreciated, or cared for just FILLED MY
BODY.

Whenever my husband passed by me in the
kitchen, or to turn on the TV or the fan or the
light, I could FEEL this pain in my whole body.

Sound familiar?

It was as though I was ACHING. Longing. Like a
heroine in an old romance. Like I'd been kept away
in a dungeon or a tower and no one could reach me.

And yet he was right there.

And he couldn't, or wouldn't reach across the
foot of space between us to connect with me.

And so everything I thought and everything I
did was around that one feeling.

I somehow got stuck, almost like a broken
record, on the wish that if he'd reach out to me,
just once, the evil spell would be broken and I'd
come alive again.

I'd be able to breathe again. To relax.

To feel something besides longing.

And the more I felt this aching longing, the
more I tried to reach out to him.

And the more he rejected me.

He wasn't in the mood for anything remotely
romantic.

And the more this happened, the angrier I got.

And the angrier I got, the more feelings filled
my body that I couldn't DO anything with.

Oh, I could complain to my friends, I could go
to a therapist, I could stamp and scream in my car
and pound pillows to get the feelings OUT, but I
couldn't TRANSLATE them into anything that WORKED
with my husband.

I felt completely helpless to change the
outcome of anything.

And all of this started because I BELIEVED, at
the very beginning, that HE was deliberately NOT
giving me what I wanted and needed.

The moment I switched that whole thought in my
brain, everything changed.

And you can do it too.

So, wherever you find yourself in this cycle of
focusing on what you don't have - SWITCH THAT
THOUGHT.

Stop thinking of him as the Fountain Of Love
that you have to "go to" to get your bowl filled.

Switch to the thought that you Don't Want him
to be your Fountain Of Love and you Don't Want to
go over to him to get your bowl filled.

Fountains don't water other things and people -
fountains water THEMSELVES.

So, instead, picture YOURSELF as YOUR OWN
Fountain Of Love, flowing water all over yourself,
loving yourself, caring for yourself.

This will help you with that aching feeling of
not getting what you want from your man.

And - it will do something else.

Your man will notice that you're no longer
looking to him for love.

He'll notice you being YOUR OWN Fountain Of
Love.

And he'll come over to GET love from YOU.

He'll start hanging around to get love from
YOUR Fountain.

And here's the last step in this "Thought
Switch."

Switch to the thought that you DON'T WANT a man
who JUST wants to drink out of YOUR Fountain of
Love.

So, to even get near you, he'll have to turn
himself into the Watering Can Of Love, and KEEP
YOUR FOUNTAIN FILLED TO OVERFLOWING!

How's that for a picture?

I know it's a leap.

To go from HIM doing absolutely nothing to
doing absolutely EVERYTHING - but that's how it
works.

I know this sounds too good to be true, but it
really will work.

You have to be very aware, all the time, of
where your thoughts are about and with him, and
keep
switching to this Fountain and Watering Can image.

As you start to do LESS, and he starts to do
MORE, you'll get another surprise.

The surprise is how great you'll feel - not
just about him - but about YOURSELF.

The Fountain image gives your self-esteem a
boost.

And as your self-esteem goes up, your
confidence goes up.

And YOUR CONFIDENCE will get his ATTENTION -
without your having to DO anything!

The thrill of really connecting with a man -
and so quickly you'll be amazed - is priceless.

It's what I want for you.

So, if you'd like more help - an actual in-
depth, make-this-happen-today solution to quickly
getting what you want from your man without having
to ask for it, take advantage of my RISK FREE 30
day money back guarantee for my program "Reconnect Your
Relationship":

http://www.HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com/e/19440/Reconnect/?cid=ZVSYZZ&lid=2



Try it out and let me know how it works for
you.

Love, Rori

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